The Cry of a Broken Soul
by TheBurntWaffle
Summary: When Athanasia completes her task to bring back Gandalf upon Durin, she wishes nothing more than to be free to die. Fate though demands she must live thrusting her back into world she was so keen to leave. Traveling with Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas, and Aragon, Athanasia is brought to face the dying world, and in it finds something unexpected, love. Legolas/OC
1. Chapter I: Eternal Life

**Chapter I: **Eternal Life

_You walk a lonley road_

_Oh! How far you are from home_

**_May it be by Enya_**

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but any OC's.

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Athanasia tucked a stray white strand hair behind the old wizard's ear. Carefully she studied Gandalf aged face, and inspected his new living body. A slight cold breeze ruffled through Athanasia's curly dark brown hair taunting her locks. As if by the winds command the deeply wrinkled wizard's eyes jolted open. Gazing down at his piercing blue eyes she carefully analyzed his expression drinking it in.

His brows where knit together in confusion, and a hard line had formed on his lips. The wizard's eyes darted back and forth searching hers for information. She took a deep breath, and calculated the exact words she would use.

"Olórin, I have been made to bring you back, and now I have," Athanasia whispered slowly. "The Fates deem your time incomplete, and until the task is done you must remain on Middle Earth." It seemed that he muddled over her words for a long time, and rolled them around in his brain. The young woman looked up at the clear blue sky above them, and waited for him to speak.

"Where am I?" he asked, and Athanasia was startled slightly. She had never expected such a simple question, nor had she expected him to speak for awhile longer.

"The top of Durin's Tower, and soon Gwaihir, Lord of Eagles shall come," the young woman smiled slightly.

"Where I died…tell me young maiden, what is your name?"

"Athanasia, and your new name is Gandalf the White," Gandalf closed his eyes at this, and he carefully placed a hand on his forehead, massaging his forehead. He was struggling it seemed to remember everything, and place it together in a way he could understand it thoroughly. The young woman allowed his head to remain in her lap, and awaited Gwaihir to come. As she continued to gaze at the pure blue sky her own thoughts consumed her. With her task now deemed done, would she be free to die? Would she finally ease the loneliness of thousands of years with death?

A powerful wind brushed back her hair with brutal anger, and broke her from her thoughts. A beautiful honorable creature descended upon Durin's Tower landing next to them. Great wings folded together, and pressed unimaginably prefect against the Great Eagles sides. Powerful glossy black talons, and a sharp pointed beak made Gwaihir dangerously breathtaking. Athanasia had always wished to look upon the honorable Gwaihir, and his kind. Fate had graced her for once, and such majestic presence gave her hope for Middle Earth.

"You are Athanasia," the voice of the Lord of Eagles shook her to the core, and his black eyes studied her thoroughly.

"Yes Lord Gwaihir, and I have brought back Gandalf. He is stable enough to travel to Lothlórien," Athanasia nodded getting up carefully as Gwaihir came over to grasp Gandalf in his claws, as the wizard was still very weak.

"You are to come, climb upon my back," he ordered as she reached the base of the stairs in mid stride. The young woman watched the great Eagle's black eyes, and knew it would be against better judgment to disobey Gwaihir.

"Come," Gandalf whom had been quiet spoke, and looking between the Lord and the wizard she nodded. Walking over carefully she climbed upon the Lord Gwaihir's back with great delicacy. She felt awkward, and instantly felt her bare legs begin to slip; squeezing her thighs onto the great eagle helped her to steady herself.

"Wrap your arms around my neck, and let us be gone from this sickening place!" The Eagle Lord cried lifting off the ledge with a giant push of his wings. They caught a sudden gust of wind and flew out to Lothlórien. Athanasia shut her eyes tightly, and clutched onto the great eagles neck. The unforgiving wind blew her hair in front of her shunning her peaking eyes. Leaning herself into the eagles neck she felt relieved the closer she came to him. After hours of flying with the wind she began to feel her legs burn under the constant strain. The loud flamboyant wind made it impossible to even yell a single word to the wizard or the Eagle Lord. The young woman instead bit her lip, and focused on the small rays of light shinning through her hair. Too afraid to move out of her position, she contented herself in diving into thought.

Why had she been allowed to ride on Lord Gwaihir's back? He only knew of her, because of a single prophecy that Gandalf would rise again with Athanasia upon the tower of Durin. Yet she never suspected that the Lady Galadriel would want her to come along. In fact her very existence had been all but legend and myth until she had come out of the mountain to revive Gandalf after he died defeating the foul Balrog. Her years of solitude, and listening to the rambling of goblin kind out of boredom hadn't been in vain, but it still caused her to lose herself in constant thought.

_ Athanasia_

Breaking her thoughts apart she searched from where the voice in her head had come. She felt the strands of another's mind reach out to her. Lightly entering her mind the presence grew within her, and Athanasia waited for the pleasant voice to speak again. Yet the strands pulled away, and the sudden withdrawal left her empty.

The young woman opened her eyes to see that the Eagle Lord had begun to descend into the eternal land of Lothlórien. Nervousness bubbled inside her gut making her chew on her lip. It had been her life long dream to glance upon the beauty of Lothlórien, and to feed her eyes on the elegant purity of its white luminous trees. It did not disappoint her and far exceeded her rich imagination. The trees grew thick and tall; even from the height at which they where descending at the tree tops nearly reached them. A liquid fluid music embraced her wind worn ears, and the angelic chants reached into the depths of her heart drawing out all the sorrow suffocating her. The Eagle Lord gently landed on a tree top platform, and set Gandalf upon it. Athanasia slid from his neck and fell onto her knees. She sat as her legs screamed bitterly at her in protest.

"You are Athanasia," an elegant soft voice spoke. In all Athanasia's many years, she had never seen such a beautiful lady. Long soft golden locks cascaded down her back, each curl uniform. Her crystal blue eyes mimicked a pale river in the glory of spring. Her skin was flawless, ageless, and glowed as if touched by the moon. Lady Galadriel was dressed in a pure snow white dress that flowered in a trail behind her, and her back was held with a virtuous grace. Athanasia gazed upon Lady Galadriel with awe, and in all the Lady's glory she felt naked before her. Who could match Lady Galadriel's beauty, and not feel naked before her? Insignificant and unworthy to continue to look Athanasia lowered her eyes.

"Yes Lady Galadriel," Athanasia whispered.

"Come dear one, rest until Gandalf has recovered," she said slowly touching her chin with a finger. Athanasia fought back the feeling to flinch under the woman's cool touch, but failed miserably. Athanasia rose up from the ground, and awaited further direction. She contented herself with starring at her worn holey boots.

"Lady Athanasia, I am called Haldir, and I shall be your company for a time," she looked up at the elf starring at her with a blank expression. Straight pale blonde hair fell down past his face, and his dark blue eyes searched hers. He had a rounded face that was very youthful and full as if he was still a young man. He had a slim body, but his height was startling. He was a foot taller than her, and feeling insignificant she looked at her shoes again. He said nothing, and walked away with her trailing behind him. Remembering the Great Eagle Lord behind her she whipped around and bowed her head.

"Thank you."

"If you ever need me small one, call out my name from within your heart," Lord Gwaihir said flying off the perch, and back to his home. She continued to bow her head until she was touched on the shoulder by Haldir. She flinched withdrawing a slight step, and turned to follow him once he had proceeded a few feet in front of her. He seemed unmoved by her flinching, and she began to descend the enumerable steps. A sudden brutal flashback torn into the walls she had built up in her mind over so many years.

_ Hot heat descended upon her face, and she fought to breathe. A filthy pungent smell of decaying bodies watered her eyes as she fought back the flames ready to consume her. She ran trying to escape, and felt a thick arm wrap around her small waist. She was pulled, and dragged by her hair through hot embers. She fought the tears that would be useless as the vomited green orc pulled her along. He threw her against the ground in front of him, and torn her dress off in the process. _

Athanasia didn't realize she was falling so quickly, and the endless stairs offered her a quick release from the memories she had suppressed for so many years. Haldir caught her to her great disappointment, and steadied her as she pulled away instantly.

"Weariness overtakes you Lady Athanasia?"

"Please I'm just Athanasia, and yes, sorry for the inconvenience," she began to walk down the stairs again as soon as Haldir went in front of her. She directed her gaze to the stairs, and focused everything on not misplacing a step. She didn't want any sudden contact with Haldir again, and loathed the fact she had not died, and the fact he didn't let her die. They reached the end of the stairs, and her boots met with soft moss. Taking off her boots she allowed her feet to soak in the soft coolness of the moss. It felt absolutely heavenly against her heavily callused feet.

"Bathing is done in the spring through there, and your room is here," he said as she looked up at the tree that had a door, and seemed to be hollowed out. She pushed it open to find a simple bed made of branches woven in delicate patterns. A wardrobe off to the side, and a long mirror made the room complete. She looked off at the spring hidden behind bush and many trees. How long had it been since she had bathed? Sighing a small smile crept onto her face. She nodded and bowed to Haldir whom left her promptly.

Walking quickly to the spring she found it deserted. It was lovely beyond comparison. Clear blue waters surround her like a giant bathtub. Throwing off her clothes she dove into the water. She swam in the water, and laid on her back. She saw a basket had been left by the little lake, and she swam over finding various soaps, and scrubbing brushes. A towel had been neatly folded at the bottom. She grabbed the coarsest brush and quickly lathered it in soap. She pulled herself out of the water, and began the long work of scrubbing off years of dirt, dead skin, and other grime. After she had worked the first scrub she dipped herself into the water. Muck fell away from her turning the water around her a hideous brown color, before blending into the large expanse of water. She pulled herself onto the moss again and repeated several times until her skin became red. She wanted to be clean again, and after she was satisfied she began with her massive hair. Reaching into the basket she pulled out liquid soap and in the water worked through her hair. It took several washes before it was normal, and after she was satisfied that she was in fact clean she floated on the water. The green leaves so high above her shielded her from the bright hot sun.

Not wanting to risk a sudden elf coming upon her she got out of the spring and wrapped the towel around her. Picking up her disgusting tunic and boots she walked back to her room running, and quickly shutting the door behind her threw the clothes on the floor as if they were on fire. A nightdress had been left on the bed, and the mirror beckoned to her. Athanasia ignored its frantic call, and threw on the dress. Quickly diving into bed to miss the mirror the lights turned out around her. She pulled on the heavy covers, and fell into a strange peaceful sleep.

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**I hope everyone enjoyed the first chapter, I really enjoyed the LOTR book series, and movies, and thus have blended both in this fanfiction. Though I have used more of the book as my guide more than anything. A new chapter shall arrive soon! **


	2. Chapter II: Soul of the Immortal Maiden

**Chapter II: **The Soul of the Immortal Maiden

_Oh, slipping underneath.  
Oh, so cold, but so sweet._

_-Florence and the Machine_

_Never Let me Go_

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Darkness enveloped her like velvet, encasing her in a long sleep until the sun beckoned her back. Opening her blinking eyes she quickly adjusted to the light streaming into her room from the door. Pushing herself up to sit she saw a young Elvish woman looking at her. A silver tray rich with fruits, vegetables, and nuts was held steady in one hand while her other held a hair brush. The young Elvish woman looked almost identical to Haldir with long straight blonde hair, and dark blue eyes. She had a lovely oval face, and was as towering tall as Haldir. A milky blue dress swept over her body cascading down the floor like waves at the bottom.

"Talathiel," the elvish woman said gesturing to herself.

"Athanasia," she kindly replied smiling slightly. The Elvish woman came to her and set the tray on the bed. She began to motion with her hand to turn gesturing to the brush. Athanasia shivered shaking her head.

"I can do it myself," she said quietly as the elf stared at her blankly. She set the brush on the bed, and left shutting the door behind her. Athanasia began to eat savoring the food. It was rich and filled her with joy. Strange bread like cake had been left underneath, and she took a giant bite. She chewed it melting in its fluffy sweet taste. After one swallow she was completely stuffed. Picking up the comb she began the long process of untangling her hair. It was a long time-consuming process that left her head miserably sore. Several times she had wanted to just cut it all off, but found nothing sharp to cut it with. So she endured, and after several hours had beautiful curly brown hair again.

Opening the wardrobe Athanasia grasped the first dress she found. It was a soft silvery color with delicate pearl beading around the edges. She pulled it on over her head and found it hardly fit her. The small waist was fine, but her human chest spilled out. She cursed and shoved as much as she could in, but it still hardly made her feel better. The low neckline was exposing her brutal ugly scars on her left shoulder, and in a fit of anger she pulled off the dress. It fell to the floor, and she sat naked looking up at the dresses. She saw that the wardrobe also had several drawers, and opening one she found men's clothes. Athanasia pulled on stretchable pale gray tights, and a long pale green tunic that reached her knees. It covered her body completely, and she sighed happily.

Walking out into the open the young maiden saw the glowing white trees once more. Everything was just how she remembered it from the pervious day. Basking in the small rays of light that peeked through the dense trees, she closed her eyes listening to the chanting of the elves, and the song of the forest singing with them. Life was ever-present around her. It hummed, and vibrated from the ground through her bare feet. This place consumed her with a flooding relief melting her sorrow into nothing.

"Lady Athanasia, did you sleep well?" The woman turned to see Haldir, and his eyes seemed slightly shocked.

"I know, I can't help it," she whispered sadly. Under all the dirt, dead skin, and grime no one had been able to see what she truly looked like. Over her right dull green eye was a tan-colored mark in the shape of a hand that ran across her cheek, eye, and partly on her nose. Her left eye untouched and a brilliant bright blue eye captured his attention. To anyone looking at her it seemed that someone had placed there hand over her and left an imprint on her. Yet her face wasn't the worse to see, nor would anyone ever see the truth under her clothes. Haldir said nothing more to her, and she didn't expect much. In such a beautiful prefect place she was imperfect. Her presence violated the forest and Elves. She sat against the great white tree, and waited for Haldir to leave her.

_Come to me. _

The pleasant warm voice called to her, and she got up walking away deep into the forest. Haldir did not follow her to her delight, and she followed to where the voice had called her from. Athanasia's feet traveled the soft moss slowly as she continued to soak in the life all around her. Everything from her past was pushed away into boxes, and placed in a locked door far into her mind. Peace continued to flush over her entire being, and surrounded her heart with light. A song began to fill her ears, and cascaded into her soul. It belonged to the voice within her head, and looking off into the distance she saw Lady Galadriel singing. Her voice belonged to the angels, and the words soothed Athanasia's heart. She watched from a short distance, and listened.

_You came born from a dying womb_

_ Touched by Death_

_ Touched by Fate_

_ Touched by Immorality_

_ You belong to the Earth_

_ To us all _

"This is, was, and who you always where," Lady Galadriel said after the last note of her song had died out on her lips. "There was more than one prophecy about you, Athanasia."

"There was only one I have known of Lady Galadriel," Athanasia said softly, and she began to sing.

_Upon the mountain of Durin_

_ Comes Athanasia_

_ To complete the task _

_ To bring back what was lost_

_ To name what has been recreated_

"Your voice is one of ours," Lady Galadriel smiled gently. A blush crept onto the maiden's face as she turned away from the Elvin Queen. "You are of great importance," she began pausing for a moment as she looked up at green leaves swaying high above them. "Your coming has been written for ages, and the things you must do are unfathomable."

"I figured as much," Athanasia sighed messaging her forehead. "My greatest desire is to die," the words tumbled from her mouth like vomit.

"That was the price you paid a long time ago," Lady Galadriel softly told her. Athanasia shook her head.

"It was a price I was still to young to understand, and only if I had known would I have yielded to death that day," the maiden sat herself against an old tree, and let the sun bask her in warm rays. The memories of her past had started to fight against the mental door she had placed, and so she directed her gaze to the world of trees around her.

Lady Galadriel's mind gently reached out and entered into her mind. The strands of her serenity spilled into her being. She let Galadriel search her mind and peer into her memories. For some reason she could not fight her request to see into her life. It was as if her mind, soul, and body had all complied with her request to see into her very being. She shut her eyes and allowed her into all her memories.

"My child," she whispered quietly as tears streamed down her blue eyes. The Lady Galadriel bent on her knees, and Athanasia looked at the elf. Lady Galadriel cupped her face, and Athanasia fought to pull away, but her grip was firm. She let go, and the young maiden turned from the elf. Lady Galadriel began to sing again, as her tears continued to soak the grass.

_What words can be spoken?_

_ What can I say to a soul shattered?_

_ The horrors of your life consume me_

_ I can see no remedy _

_ No words, no actions, no touch_

_ Could heal something so broken_

Athanasia fought back the tears ready to spill from her eyes. She swallowed back the pain, and a familiar ache returned to her throat. The beautiful Lady Galadriel was beginning to sob quietly, and it filled the maiden with pain. She shouldn't have let her in. Athanasia wanted to comfort Lady Galadriel, and tell her it wasn't too much to bear, but it would only be a comforting lie. The words became choked in her throat as she fought to produce them. She bit her lip in frustration, and to her bitter disappointment they refused to surface. She watched the Lady Galadriel cry into her hands, and found herself immobile. Unable to turn or look away from her she sat waiting for her tears to end. Finally after awhile the Lady Galadriel dried her tears, and to her surprise saw her face wasn't red, but exactly the same. For a moment Athanasia thought that elves cry beautifully, but quickly let it fall away as the Elvin Queen began to speak.

"I have seen much, and I can do nothing to ease the pain within you. If I could offer you death I would."

"Your words are comforting, please explain to me what fate has decreed," Athanasia knew too well what happened when you tried to defy fate, and only wished now to know what she was going to be a puppet for.

"When Gandalf has recovered you will travel with him, and from there I can see nothing," Lady Galadriel replied as her eyes became blank for a moment, and in that moment the maiden knew she was seeing what Fate was allowing. A breeze tormented both elf and the maiden's hair, and both felt the slight pulse of the Earth. The will of the Fate had been decided, and even if she fought against it again like when she was younger it would give her grief yet again.

"Very well," the maiden replied automatically without feeling or emotion. She got up, but Lady Galadriel caught her arm. Athanasia began to pull away, but caught her gaze. Looking down after a moment she saw that in her other hand was a necklace. Twisted in delicate sliver metal was a fairly large crystal. It a mix of blue and green like her eyes, and when it caught the light it seemed to glow with a radiant white light.

"This was found implanted in one of our beloved trees three days before your arrival," she placed it in the maiden's hand. It seemed to respond to her touch and hummed softly.

"It is alive?"

"It seems to be, I have never encountered a crystal like this before, but perhaps you will come to know all its secrets."

Athanasia put it on tucking it under her clothes. She felt it pulse, and warmth spread through her body. Suddenly the maiden felt the ground overflow with life, and it rushed into her body through her bare feet. It filled her with strength; opening up her emotions that had been locked away. She felt angry at Fate, and at being a puppet. She wasn't able to do anything about it, and it grew inside her as a bitter root. Yet in all her anger she found it pointless. After three thousand years Athanasia found that there was nothing she could do but comply. Sighing heavily she left Lady Galadriel.

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My OC's

Athanasia, Talathiel

**Another chapter shall come in a week or so. For anyone curious on Athanasia's past, it will be explained further into the story. **

**Reviewer's Corner! **

**Alison-Fire: **I am very honored you have enjoyed my story thus far! : 3

**LotR Fan: **Her story will be told latter on, but I have a feeling your curiosty has exploded after this chapter. ; D

**vampirediarieslover123: **I am glad you love it! It makes me so happy that you are enjoying my story! : D


	3. Chapter III: Overflow of the Soul

**Chapter III: **Overflow of the Soul

_And my blood is all I see  
As you steal my soul from me_

_Ellie Goulding - My Blood Lyrics_

**The beginning of this chapter contains violence. **

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Brutal violent screams erupted from Athanasia's throat as she clawed an invisible enemy. Tears descended down her face as the darkness began to suffocate her easily. It was beginning again, and like all the other times she could not fight it. She became limp as the darkness crashed into her with blunt force throwing her into convulsions of agony. She began to cried out, but it was premature and quickly died on her lips as her eyes widened in horror.

"Sauron," her lips moved, but nothing came out of her mouth. A giant fiery eye grew in front of her till it consumed her sight. An old eerie laugh corroded her mind as she was thrown back by a fierce fire inside the eye. It lapped onto her thighs scorching her scared legs. She withered in pain as her screams melted into the laugh. Sauron appeared from the eye and hovered over her. His cruel elaborate black armor as fierce as it was terrifying. Athanasia became helpless under him as he removed his helmet. Long raven black hair spilled down his back, and his empty black hungry eyes feasted upon her. His face was handsome, cruel, and cold. She began to shake in fear of him trying to fight him from invading her mind, but her attempts became futile. He shoved a foot into her belly. Bile filled her mouth, and she fought back the urge to vomit.

"My little Athana," he smirked digging his foot further into her belly. Bile dribbled out of her mouth stifling a cry. "The Ring Bearer will fail, and then my dear I will take you," he reached down and pulled her out from underneath his foot. She became suspended in mid air, and with his other four fingered clawed gloved hand traced his handprint on her eye. Blood trickled down her face, and the droplets hissed into the fires around them. "You are my property, and not even Fate can bend the magic I imbedded on your face," he tossed her to the ground and she tumbled rolling violently. She didn't move, and just waited for it all to end. It would hurt more if she fought back, and so she endured the torture. Tears began to leak from her eyes as she felt him approaching her again. Athanasia just wanted to curl up in a ball, but that would only aggravate him more. "Now how shall I resume my fun? It has been awhile has it not?" He reached for her clothes, and she bit back a scream.

"Please Sauron, please, no," she begged even though she knew it was of little use. He tore her shirt off, and she cried helplessly. He tore all her clothes off slowly until she was naked before him. He bent over hovering his hand over her stomach, and then drove his hand into a large circular scar on her stomach. Blood spurted out and she screamed. He ripped out her intestines spewing them around her. Unimaginable pain sent her into seizures of agony. Her blood dripped from his claws feeding the starving fire all around her. Words began to tumble out of her mind uncontrollably, and rolled onto her lips. The pain crippled her mind as she was begging profusely for him to stop.

A powerful mind swept through hers like a breeze. Giant sea-foam blue waves rushed all around her putting out the burning fires around in her mind. Sauron was torn from her mind in the moment the waves reached her. Athanasia drifted down into the dark abyss of the ocean. Her blood floated above her as the sudden sun within her mind began to fade. The maiden let the ocean take her as her mind filled with darkness.

"Athanasia, open your eyes," Lady Galadriel's voice called to her. Opening her eyes slowly she was met with blurriness until her eyes adjusted. The maiden turned her head slightly to meet with the Elvin Queen's sad eyes. Sweat dripped down the maiden's forehead, and she winced at the burning pain coursing through her legs. Athanasia pulled off the covers to see the burns and blisters scorched onto her legs. Lady Galadriel placed her cold hand onto the maidens left leg causing the maiden to flinch, but the elf ignored it and began to heal the burns. Athanasia lay back on her pillow carefully wiping the sweat accumulated on her brow. "Everyone heard your screams, and several elves tried to wake you; only to be scorched by Sauron."

"I'm sorry," the maiden weakly whispered. The silence between them stretched as Athanasia began to replace the mental barriers in her mind. It had taken Sauron three weeks to break through this time, and she knew that she couldn't extend the time anymore. He was gaining strength too quickly, and she was only able to do so much. "He said the Ring bearer would fail."

"That is one of the futures I saw," Lady Galadriel said pausing briefly as she put her hand over right leg. "I also saw a future where he succeeded, and Sauron was destroyed." The maiden shivered slightly as she came to understand what would happen if the Ring bearer failed. Her life along with everyone else's would become one full of torture, pain, and agony. Those who where mortal would be free to die quickly, while the immortal elves would re-live each day in withering angst until insanity claimed them. Even then they would not be free to die until Sauron ended there life. Athanasia would be forced to watch even the ancient elf race end, becoming Sauron's slave for all eternity. Death would never yield for her, and she would be driven into madness. Seeming to read her thoughts the Elvin Queen reached out to touch her hand but stopped retreating.

"Have faith in the Ring Bearer, and he will not fail."

"If he fails all of Middle Earth will become scum under Sauron's finger nails," the maiden whispered bitterly as the pain disappeared from her legs. She peered down to see that only faint scars remained from the burns adding to the collection on her legs. Athanasia reached for her necklace on one of the woven branches and put it on. It pulsed lightly humming softly against her chest. Lady Galadriel continued to sit on the edge of her bed her hands folded perfectly in her lap. "When will Gandalf be fully healed?" Athanasia asked eager to change the topic.

"A fortnight at the soonest," Lady Galadriel replied swiftly. Cursing softly Athanasia knew now that she would have another attack while traveling with Gandalf, and with no one to break her from it she would be bound with pain until Sauron released her.

_Meredith _

Athanasia froze as the name spilled into her mind echoing in the vast walls of her head. It wasn't Lady Galadriel or Sauron entering into her mind. It was a foreign presence. She had never felt something like it before. Light beamed into her dark head illuminating the barriers she had made against Sauron. Suddenly they grew, becoming stronger, and thicker. Her mental barriers became unimaginably strong, and offered her at least two months of protection from Sauron.

"What are you?" She asked in her mind, and the question bounced around her head.

_Meredith_

The name reappeared in her mind as words again. There was no voice attached to it, and from the real world she felt the crystal on her skin vibrant slightly. The crystal around her neck had told her its name, and given her mental barriers a large boost. She was struck in awe as she came back to the real world.

"The crystal, its name is Meredith," the maiden said shocked and held the warm humming crystal in her hand.

"The Guardian of the Sea," Lady Galadriel replied her brows knit in a slight confusion. She looked at the crystal peaking through Athanasia's hands. The crystal was speaking to her, and it's origins in the Elves most beloved tree stirred an old memory within her. Yet she needed more time and thought to unweave the old memories.

"Meredith also reinforced the mental walls against Sauron," Athanasia smiled brightly for the first time, and this only left Galadriel more confused than before. The crystal when she had inspected wasn't at all powerful or noteworthy other than seeming to be alive. Yet it was performing feats of magic far above anything she had seen before. Could the crystal hide its power even from her? Puzzled she let out a sigh, and smiled warmly at the young maiden.

***The***Cry***of***a***Broken***Soul***

Lying in the warm spring Athanasia floated on her back. It was absolutely heavenly for her, and she would never get use to this. The water shifted over her body and she let out a small sigh of contentment. She lifted Meredith off her chest to see it glowing purely blue, and she smiled as it hummed softly to her. She placed it back on her chest which submerged the necklace underwater and laid her head back into the water. Her ears dipped underwater for a moment, and the humming from the necklace became a faint song. Straining her ears to hear the maiden picked up faint words.

_I am the Light_

_Three parts one day to be made whole_

The other words where lost and she carefully mellowed over song as she stood in the spring. A slight movement from the trees caught her eye, and covering herself she began to creep back to the basket on the other side. Talathiel came out from the trees, and Athanasia breathed out relaxing. At least it was just  
her, and not Haldir. The elf caught Athanasia's eyes speaking softly in Elvin.

"Gandalf has requested you Lady Athanasia."

"Athanasia," she corrected her. "I shall come soon, thank you," Athanasia replied back in Elvin. Talathiel had suspected since Athanasia was human she couldn't speak Elvin, and so communication had been nonexistent for four days before Athanasia rambled in Elvin at Talathiel trying to force her into a dress. It had surprised her thoroughly, and the two began an interesting friendship. Waiting until the elf had left her she quickly got out and dried off; throwing on her leggings and tunic.

It had been ten days since Athanasia had arrived in Lothlórien and only four more till Gandalf was fit to travel. The elves had healed his body and mind helping him remember thousands of years of memories dormant within his new mind. Caught up in thought she began to climb the stairs to the wizard's current room. It was something that she Talathiel reprimanded of her constantly. Too much thought would drive her mad she would remind her often. Yet in fact it was the only thing that had kept her sane in her years in confinement. Blocking the sudden memories she reached the top.

Most all Elves had homes off the ground, and many bridges connected tree to tree, which in turn connected all the houses together like one huge room. The tree houses, and bridges where encrusted in the same white light of as trees. To Athanasia the purity of Heaven had been bestowed to the Lothlórien Elves. Everything they crafted was lovely; swelling with the light of the trees.

"Come, he wishes to speak with you," Lady Galadriel called to her. She broke away from her enchantment of the world around her, and walked over to the Elvin Queen waiting by the door. She entered in to see Gandalf had become a chair. His head, hands, and bare feet the only things she could see. Her brows knit together, and despite her best efforts she laughed. He rose from the white chair, and she saw now his white robes where identical to the chair. Pearls of laughter spilled from her mouth forcing tears to her eyes as he continued to look at her confused.

"I'm sorry Lord Gandalf, it is just that for a moment it looked like you where the chair," she smiled as soon as she gained control over herself. To her surprise he laughed, and Athanasia felt warmth filling her cold dead heart.

"Now Athanasia I have much to discuss with you, Lady Galadriel has filled me in with everything, but I still have many questions for you," the wizard said becoming serious. She nodded taking a seat in a chair as he began to pace.

"It's alright you can ask what you like," she said as she began to brace herself for his questions.

"When did Sauron place that mark on your eye?"

"Fifty years ago, he had taken the form of a dark man, a Necromancer in this tongue," she paused as he nodded for her to continue. She brought back the memories, and sustained them enough for her to tell the wizard every detail if he wished. "I had been his captive for a time, and he branded me with his hand…for purposes. I was certain once you had killed him it would disappear, but the Ring Bilbo had found sustained his life, and left a tie between us."

For a long time Gandalf the White was lost in thought. He began to stroke his long snow white beard, and she sat back in the chair waiting for some type of response. The Lady Galadriel had been silent the entire time as she had seen everything already verifying Athanasia's story.

"Sauron's interest in you worries me above all," he spoke still pacing as he spoke. "What gifts do you possess?"

"I have nothing. I am rather good with a short sword, but other than that I have nothing. The magic I used to revive you was a one time gift from Fate," Athanasia replied as Gandalf shook his head.

"Sauron is and always will be obsessed with power," Lady Galadriel spoke, and two pairs of eyes met hers. "You my child must have something within you that he desires, for the mark on your eye is deep powerful magic."

"I have nothing; I am a human or once was a long time ago, and was born without magic," she replied turning her eyes to the wall. Both wizard and Elvin Queen became quiet, and the maiden knew they were having a conversation between them telepathically. Meredith hummed quietly under her clothes giving her comfort, and she waited for them to speak.

"I am sorry Athanasia, my questions must not have been easy for you," Gandalf said and she met with his eyes. A deep grief had suddenly claimed them, and Athanasia could only guess that Lady Galadriel had shown him her past.

"It's alright," she said as a fake smile appeared. She then began forcing the memories back down into the abyss of her mind. She locked them away once more after she saw Gandalf would have no further questions about it at least. "Sauron can not break through my mental walls for awhile longer, and I am hoping we can travel out as soon as you are able." Gandalf the White nodded at her words, and she left both of them. She was feeling very weak, and knew that the memories had been more straining then she let on. Her vision became spotted and blurred quickly. Athanasia collapsed on the bridge falling into a nightmare of memories.

* * *

I will be out of town for a week and so that is why this chapter is a few days early! I hope you all have enjoyed the story thus far, and now have a tiny insite to Athanasia's past with Sauron. It is sadly only the tinest part of her burtal past.

Thank you to TheRubyToTheRose and vampirediarieslover123 for following my story, and also thank you vampirediarieslover123, Neo Nitro, and Artemis Queen of the Night for faving!

**Reviewer's Corner**

**Alison-Fire:** Your review brings me so much joy! Thank you! The necklace does have a huge importance, and is actually based on a gem from the books. (The name of the gem that I made up for it gives hint to its origins, as the book had no real name for it.)

**Brankel1:** Thank you! I hope you enjoyed chapter three! : )

**SilverSwagxX:** I am thrilled you find my story interesting! It makes me so glad! I hope this chapter leaked some idea into her past.

**LotR Fan:** Whelp I hope this sated your curiosity a tiny bit!


	4. Chapter IV: Falling Memories

**Chapter IV: **Falling Memories

_And the arms of the ocean are carrying me_

_And all this devotion was rushing over me_

_And the questions I have for a sinner like me_

_But the arms of the ocean deliver me_

**_Never Let Me Go_**

**_-Florence + The Machine_**

* * *

Flickering droplets of memories formed around her, frozen in mid fall. If she moved everything would then be risked on her touching one. Athanasia stood as one with the frozen droplets competing for her glancing eyes to see. The memories of her past rampaged against her will, and thirsted to be remembered. It had been far too long since this had happened. Far too long since she had lost control, and she felt her mind beginning to cave in. Slowly the droplets began to fall like a heavy rain and shattered once they touched the cruel black ground. Pieces of herself began to break apart, and feeling everything clasp around her she shut her eyes.

_Don't be afraid_

The words echoed in her mind without a voice. Even without a sound the words spoke to her. Opening her eyes white light radiated around her. It pulsed with a steady constant light until everywhere she turned was filled with it.

"You can't run for much longer, even I have a limit to what I can do for you," a young boy's voice said, and the maiden turned. Wind pushed her hair behind her, and the maiden was brought to an ocean. Athanasia looked out to the vast calm ocean and saw the boy. Shocking pure white hair gleamed like the white light that Athanasia had first seen. His pale yellow eyes beckoned to her and she stepped into the ocean.

"Meredith," she spoke against her control. Shock filled her when she saw him smile brightly.

"So that you wouldn't ask me for the tenth time!"

"I don't understand," she said shaking her head backing away from him. Sadness ran across his delicate face, and the look Gandalf and Galadriel had given her consumed his features. "Stop looking at me like that! I am not someone to be pitied! Just stop it!" She yelled at him as the waves lapped against her thighs. The ocean became angry spewing disgusting slug against the grassy shores. Meredith was unmoved by her sudden anger. He instead walked towards her as one with the ocean. She backed away but only stumbled on rocks forming all around her. Athanasia fought to back away only to be sliced by the sharp pointed rocks. The black slug began to move towards her attracted by the blood pooling around her. For once she began to fight her away through the rocks and slug. The slug latched onto her pulling her down, but she fought against it. Clawing into the sharp rocks her nails came off. Screams erupted from her as she was pulled under.

"No! No! I don't want to go back to the dark! NO!" Athanasia screamed out in the water. A small hand grabbed her wrist pulling her out with inhuman strength. The slug fell away, and she was carried in the arms of an older version of Meredith. Even as her mind screamed at her to push away she found herself unable to move.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered in a deeper older voice. Yet fear only raged out of control within her. She needed to get away out of his arms out of the point of reach. He would hurt her, and use her. He would… "Athanasia."

The maiden looked up into the pure pale yellow eyes of Meredith. She searched his eyes, and he let her into his being. She could see no malice, hate, or cruelty within his very core. Purity filled him with such a light that it transcended all understanding. Her body relaxed in his arms and the ocean became calm.

"Never be afraid of me," he said as they reached the grassy shore line. He sat her upon the grass, and became a boy again. "I will never hurt you Athanasia, never, and I will always be by your side."

"I heard those words once," the maiden paused as she looked out to the sea shimmering against the sun. Yet she stopped herself. The memory was too painful, and she would lose control again if she let it linger.

"He destroyed your body, and burned you as a witch, yet you didn't die, instead your wounds healed over and over again. Leaving you in unending agony for seven days until all who saw could no longer stand the screams," Meredith whispered. Terror ripped through her body sending shivers down her spin. "Yet that is nothing to everything else."

"Stop! Please!" Athanasia cried out gripping her hair. Meredith cupped her face in his small child like hands and gazed into her terrified eyes. He planted a single kiss on her forehead causing her fear to dissolve. Tears spilled from her eyes and onto his hands carefully Meredith wiped them away with his thumbs. He knew no words could comfort her, nor any magic that could ease the madness within her past.

Yet in all of this he saw a hidden gentleness. He saw the moment when she rested Gandalf's head on her lap, and gave him her own cloak for his naked body. Even though she tried to make herself closed and cold deep within her she longed for comfort. He rested his head on her forehead. He wanted to offer her some type of comfort no matter how small. Tiny hands reached up to his as Athanasia leaned her cheek into the warmth of Meredith's hands. Her hands touched his, and the maiden's silent tears found refuge in their hands.

***THE***CRY***OF***A***BROKEN***SOUL***

Finding herself directly where she had fallen the maiden got up on shaky legs. Slowly she descended down the stairs to her room. Meredith pulsed lightly from under her clothes giving her warmth. For once in her long life Athanasia found one person whom would never hurt her or use her. Her feet met the soft moss and looking up she saw millions of fireflies blinking all around the trees. It looked like a galaxy of stars swarming all around the trees. A smile crept up onto her face as one landed on her nose. Athanasia crinkled her nose, but the firefly was stubborn. Using a finger she gently coaxed the firefly onto her finger.

"You're a bit different are you not?" The little firefly flickered his light several times seeming to agree with her. "I'm glad; if we were all the same wouldn't it be very strange?" The firefly flickered in agreement and flew back onto her nose. Athanasia began to spin as millions of lights flickered around her. Twirling and dancing she felt the connection of the earth run into her feet. Meredith responded and everything became brighter, clearer, and sharper. The maiden stopped twirling to see the small details of the fireflies' wings beating ever so slowly around her. Everything was in slow motion and all sound vanished. Beauty opened up before her. The smallest details hidden from her before shone brightly. The delicate moss had the most intricate pattern on its tiny petals. Each was unique to that petal, and consumed by the beauty around her the maiden watched the world. The firefly flew off her nose breaking the spell of the forest. Her vision dulled yet she couldn't help but smile. Athanasia had seen life through the firefly, and was grateful for such a chance. This was the world Saruon was trying to destroy. He would rip apart the children of Middle Earth, and destroy all the light in the world. Ash would grip the sky in an eternal darkness. Nothing would be spared from the humble firefly to the might warriors. All would be enslaved or slaughtered in one brutal massacre.

"Meredith I see now that there is still light in this world, and no matter how small I shall protect it," she whispered to him. A pulse of warmth raced through her body soothing the memories creeping back to her. Getting up she went back to her room as the fireflies danced around her legs.

Three days passed until Gandalf was ready for travel. Athanasia had been given generously by the Elves new clothes along with a set of leather thigh high boots. The dark forest green tunic and black leggings had been made for her, and the boots given to her by Talathiel. She was also given a green cloak, belt, pack, and everything needed for travel.

"I have never owned so much before," Athanasia sighed as Talathiel finished inspecting her new 'suitable' clothes.

"You dress as a man, I would much prefer you in a dress," Talathiel sighed ignoring Athanasia.

"Dresses are troublesome! Have you run from wolves in one before? Or perhaps orcs?!" Her tone became harsh, and she quickly apologized.

"Much sorrow holds you Athanasia, and many things have hurt you," Talathiel said quietly looking over Athanasia again. "You are fit to leave now." The elf nodded turning to leave.

"Wait!"

"Yes Athanasia?" Talathiel asked without turning.

"Thank you."

"You shall always be welcome," The Elvin maiden whispered walking away. She would not allow Athanasia to see her tears. She had seen into her future, and knew that the madness had only just begun for Athanasia.

* * *

_My OC's Athanasia, Talathiel, Meredith._

_Thank you everyone for your patience in waiting for the next chapter! The next chapter shall continue with a journey to the Fangorn forest! I love all my reviewers, favers, followers, and readers! Due to being short on time I will not have a reviewers corner!_ _Look for a new chapter within a week! _


	5. Chapter V: Fangorn Forest

**Chapter V: Fangorn Forest**

* * *

_Leave the past behind  
Just walk away  
When it's over  
And my heart breaks  
And the cracks begin to show_

_Freestylers - Cracks _

* * *

A damp misty rain fell lightly through the trees breathing onto Athanasia face. Her leather boots stepped roughly on the delicate moss leaving imprints. Following Gandalf through the trees they came to find Galadriel holding parting gifts for them both. A magnificent white dress swept over her frame glowing with a vibrant pale white light. In her left hand she held a sword, and in her right hand a white staff.

"It is our custom to give gifts to those whom must leave," she looked to Gandalf. "This staff made from a great tree shall serve you well and light your way with its own light," she handed the staff to him, and he nodded his thanks to her. Galadriel then turned to her and using both hands presented the sword. "His name is Aeglos, and he will serve you faithfully," the sword sheath gleamed in response, and Anastasia accepted it. The sword was lighter than Meredith, and in awe she drew it out of the scabbard. A long harmonic ring sang out as she held it up. Never in all her time had she seen such a well made sword.

"Aeglos," the maiden repeated.

"Once a spear, now a sword, whom will never fail you," the Elvin Queen spoke softly.

"No words can ever describe my thanks," Athanasia smiled briefly lowering her head.

"Go my child and save this world," Galadriel said as the maiden came to meet her eyes. Sadness was etched into them sending chills down Athanasia's spine. Lady Galadriel for a second appeared very old, and very sad. The maiden blinked the image away, and turned to see Gandalf had already started down the path. Strapping Aeglos to her side she ran to catch up with him.

"Too long I was away from this world, and now I find myself without time!" Gandalf breathed as he trekked ahead of her.

"Where are we headed?" Athanasia asked

"Fangorn forest is where we shall find our companions. It will be a hard three day journey," He said picking up the pace. Gandalf being taller than most average men could stride easy, but Athanasia was reduced to a jog which was not difficult yet. After the first few hours her pack became heavy against her back, but she pushed herself to keep going. If the old wizard could keep the pace so could she. In her mind she played it like a game to keep herself from falling behind. After three hours of a constant pace they stopped for a quick meal of lembas bread and cold water. Then restless Gandalf started off again and where he got such energy puzzled Athanasia completely. Perhaps he truly felt he had no time left, and it gave him the will to keep going. Or maybe…

_Burning, scorching, evil flames licked the maiden's arms as orc descended upon her small home. Standing frozen in the all consuming flames the maiden watched as they slew her family. Crimson blood spilled onto the dirt floors mingling together in a pool._

_ "Mother, father, brother…" Athanasia said as the orc came over to her. His cruel blade gleaming with the blood of her family. She fell onto her knees soaking herself in the blood of her family. The orc grabbed her by the hair and began to drag her out of the burning house. She was numb unable to process everything. Shock had consumed in it an unending grip. _

_ "Mother, father, brother…" the maiden repeated once more as she lifted her shaking hands. Their blood woke her up to reality and to the pain of her captured hair. _

Destroying the awakening memory the maiden was left gasping as she continued to jog. Gandalf seemed to hear her struggling to breathe and turned catching her as she collapsed. Athanasia desperately tried to get her breathing under control, but the more she struggled the worse it soon became. Her broken mind was no longer able to contain the numberless boxes of memories locked away. Suffocating in Gandalf's arms she looked up at the sad blue eyes of the wizard. Her breath died out, and death overtook her body. Yet as her soul rose up to leave her crimpled body, it was violently slammed back in by an invisible force. The pain of being forced back into a dead body left her fragile soul in pieces. Athanasia began crying out in a terrible pain as she was brought back to life. Gripping the old wizards robe the broken maiden screeched as the pain of life tormented her. Broken voices whispered all around her as her voice died out. Whipping her head around she saw the ghosts of her past as they all had died. Fighting against Gandalf's firm hold the maiden began to sputter mumbling madness.

Uncontrollable laughter spilled from her madness leaving Gandalf in the wake of her insanity. The old wizard heaved a deep sad sigh as many choices appeared in his mind. Her mind had collapsed in upon itself leaving no room for reason within her anymore. She was but a shattered piece of glass of thoughts and memories. Yet death could not claim her nor could was there anything he do to release her from endless torment. Meredith caught his eye and looking at the stone with a sudden faint hope he gathered it in his hands. The gem hummed softly sending various images into Gandalf's head.

The white wizard shook his head and projected his mental thoughts out to the gem. Yet Meredith repeated the same useless images. Suppression of her memories suddenly crossed his mind. With magic suppression he could hold off her madness for a time, and at least give her the ability to be functional for awhile longer. Speaking out the words he needed and forming them into her crippled mind the memories compressed themselves and Athanasia's eyes became focused again.

"I'm sorry," her voice whispered softly to him barely reaching his ears. She got up suddenly fine from her fit of madness, and pulled over her hood. The maiden's green hood encased her in a cave of security. She had never wanted Gandalf to see her like that nor anyone for that matter. It was her destiny after all her duties were preformed. Fate would have no other use for, and being immortal with the madness of her past would consume her. Forever would she wander Middle Earth untouched by age or time, and forever she would be encased in insanity. It was the final unseen price of her choice so long ago, and one she would regret till the end of time.

Pushing everything away Athanasia began walking ahead of Gandalf whom took it as she could still travel. The maiden no longer felt the pain in her legs from the brutal pace they now took or her harsh breathing. It all faded into her mind. For three days they took this pace with little rest and only stopping for the bare minimum. Keeping her hood on the entire time she only saw the flutter of Gandalf's white robe as he ran, and when they had stopped mid day on the third day they had come to the place Gandalf desired.

"We have made it!" He breathed out in relief. The maiden peered up to see the old sad trees of Fangorn forest. Each one was filled with an echoing vast sadness that made them look sinister. Refusing to let her presence be known the maiden pulled down her hood further. "Now we must find out companions, and pray they have no run into any trouble within saddening place," Gandalf said quickly beginning to walk, and Athanasia made sure to keep one step behind him. The trees groaned moaning whispers to each other, gossiping about the intruders within their forest. There walk was simple compared to the three day run she had experienced.

"These trees are sinister!" A grumpy irritated voice sighed out. Gandalf froze and Athanasia followed his lead. Through the trees she could see the back of three strangers. One was most defiantly a young dwarf, the blonde one an elf as his ears gave it away, and the other a man. It was a curious group as the maiden knew that dwarves and elves had a long standing disgust with each other. They all froze suddenly and began to whisper to each other. Quicker than a lightning bolt an arrow pierced through the maiden's left lung piercing her heart. A blinding light erupted from Gandalf's staff, and when it ended the three odd companions looked dumbfounded at him.

"Gandalf?" The human asked suddenly overtaken in a great joy. Athanasia grabbed the arrow lodged into her heart and began to pull it out.

"What are you doing?!" The dwarf cried at the maiden. The elf suddenly realized what he had done and ran over to her. By the time the elf had reached her the arrow was out and red oozing blood stained the ground sinking into the Earth. The trees moaned loudly as they now knew who she was, and the elf firmly pressed his hand against the wound.

"It will stop soon," she whispered softly.

"It pierced your heart you should be dead, who are you?" he questioned as the blood flow stopped and the wound only became another scar on her body. Athanasia said nothing and refused to draw back her hood, and instead bent her head down.

"This is Athanasia," Gandalf said as she turned to see him looking at her. "This is Gilmi son of Gloin, Aragon, and Legolas of the woodland realm," she felt all there eyes pierce into her hood trying to see her face, but she remained stubborn.

"Gandalf how is it she is not dead?" Gilmi asked bluntly. "I saw that arrow pierce…"

"It is none of your concern," Athanasia said looking down at the ground.

"It is rude to have your hood up," Gilmi said as the maiden felt a tiresome battle approaching. Shaking her head at what would be a lost argument she pushed back her hood. Long dark thick curly hair spilled down her back as she saw Gilmi peer up at her. His eye twitched slightly, but a smile suddenly formed on his mouth. "Your fairly different lad, but that's no reason to hide your face,"

The moaning of the trees rose to a shriek as Athanasia sighed deeply.

"What is angering the trees?" Legolas asked as his eyes scanned everything. Aragon whom had been silent felt his gaze come upon the maiden with the hand scared across her face. Her eyes diverted to the ground betrayed her knowledge.

"What do you know?" He questioned softly and she met with his eyes.

"Something happened here along time ago, and I can't remember, but it is the reason why the trees are so sad. There sadness has now become a grief. They are weeping," her voice died out as the trees weeping shriek began to die out. Aragon searched her eyes as she spoke but Gandalf's hand on his shoulder verified what she said.

"What happened to Merry and Pippin?" Gilmi asked looking up the old wizard.

"They travel with an Ent towards safety, and he shall take care of them," Gandalf smiled slightly. "Now we must be off to Rohan, there is much to be done."

Everyone but Athanasia fell in line with Gandalf following him out of the Fangorn forest. Yet she stood watching them get a few paces ahead of her. Some foreign memory was calling out to her yet she could not place it or understand it. Meredith hummed against her chest and the forest briefly became beautiful. Sun rays fell through the canopies of the dancing trees. A soft dirt path lined with trees opened up before her and in all the beautiful joy she only wanted to dance with them. The memory faded leaving her with a bitter taste in her mouth. Her companions had moved farther away from her, and as her eyes traced their outline she found one missing. Looking to her side she found that Legolas had waited for her. Which was odd for her to be waited on by anyone, and his gaze was also carefully following the rest of the companions.

Without speaking Athanasia began to walk ahead with Legolas following a step behind her. They traveled like this even after they had caught up to the White Wizard. Legolas's silence was in someway soothing to her, but after awhile Gilmi brewing with conversation began to ask her many questions.

"How old are you lad?"

"Three thousand years," she said keeping her gaze at the trees around them.

"You are not elf! How is that possible?"

"I drank too much ale," she blurted out, and heard Meredith's chuckle from within her head. Gilmi roared in laughed and Aragon smirked a little. Yet Legolas's face was expressionless as most elves, though very faint lines of curiosity could be read on his face, but he allowed none of them to be voiced.

"Are you any good with that sword?" He asked in challenging voice.

"Perhaps," the maiden said as another smile ran across the dwarf's face. He fired off no more questions for awhile allowing the peaceful quietness gather into her ears once more. The maiden felt Legolas's presence besides her, still soothing her with his silence. The foreign feeling soaked into her mind. Meredith greeted it with joy, and slowly pieces of her broken mind began to fall together. There was something almost comforting about him. She couldn't understand how he had such an effect on her, or why it was consuming her so quickly.

***THE***CRY***OF***A***BROKEN***SOUL

Once they had reached the edge of the Fangorn forest it was late in the day. They had only four hours of light left and one horse between five, given to Aragon by Eomer. Gandalf whistled out into the open plains, and the maiden saw the most majestic horse ever to live on Middle Earth. He had a silvery-grey coat that gleamed almost white in the sun. The great horse came up to Gandalf nudging against his hand.

"The horse of the Mearas!" Legolas exclaimed as the horse smirked at him.

"This is Shadowfax my friend," the white wizard smiled running his hand down the great horse's mane.

"How shall two horses carry five?" Asked Gilmi looking at the two horses. Gandalf laughed as another followed shortly after Gilmi's question. The horse that had followed behind was a cream colored , fiery spirited horse with a white mane. Athanasia approached the horse while Gilmi tried to heave himself onto the horse Eomer had lent them. With a bit of help from Aragon, Gilmi was situated on the horse. Legolas swung himself over with grace behind Gilmi and took the reins.

"Do you need assistance Lady Athanasia?" Aragon asked smiling softly.

"I am not a lady," Athanasia breathed as she tried to get onto the horse only to slide off it in embarrassment. Aragon lifted her and placed her on to her own great annoyance as Gilmi chuckled. The ranger then got on behind her with practiced grace. The maiden felt like such a child sitting behind him, and holding onto the horse with her thighs they took off at a daring pace. Shadowfax and Gandalf took the lead followed by Aragon and Athanasia. In the back of her mind she could feel something odd about this predicament as if she was forgetting something that had once been important. Yet she could not place a memory on it. Aragon's hand brushed hers for a second, and something within her mind tried to click, but nothing happened. The touch hadn't bothered her as much. Other than it being something foreign to her. Looking at her hand a sudden shock sent her into deep thought. 

* * *

_Thank you for all whom have faved, followed, and reviewed! I hope you have enjoyed this chapter! _

_For anyone wondering why I placed Aragon and Athanasia on a horse together it was because I thought it would be silly to place the two heaviest companions on one horse while Legolas and Athanasia the lightest shared a horse. (I wanted to balance it realistically...) _

**Reviewers Corner!**

**Bubbles8231999: **Thank you! I hope you have enjoyed this chapter!

**brankel1: **^ _ ^ Thank you! : D

**Spirit Kiss: **I am so happy it is unique! I hope you enjoyed the story thus far!

**Alison-Fire : **Thanks! I don't like making things overly dramatic, but just enough so. (I HATE dragging things out too) I hope you enjoyed this chapter! : D


	6. Chapter VI: The Gift of Meredith

**Chapter VI: The Gift of Meredith**

_It's all soon_

_This and you_

_I've never met anyone like you_

_Fight again, feel I made it_

_Senses searching something inside me_

_-Atlantis Ellie Goulding_

* * *

Athanasia bitterly massaged her sore legs as Gilmi provided her with conversation. Sighing she began to half listen to him ramble on about his people and the great warriors they were.

"Why is it you act like a man?" The sudden random question caught her attention as she turned towards Gilmi.

"Being a woman is troublesome. You have rules, and must sit a proper way, and talk a certain way," Athanasia got up and did a mock curtsy. "Never back talk a man, nor express your opinions out loud," she plopped down sitting Indian style. "I prefer the way I am, and I am not human anymore…" she tried to catch herself but Gilmi had touched a soft spot within her heart. He had purposely done it, and had done it skillfully well.

"Are you a Goddess?" Gilmi asked plainly. "That arrow should have killed you, yet you pulled it out and are unharmed," everything grew uncomfortably silent as all ears awaited her denial or acceptance of what Gilmi had asked her. Athanasia met with Gandalf's eyes to see the same question haunted them. What use was it to try to lie to them? To try to work her way around the truth? Meredith spoke softly to her and gave her courage.

"I was born human to a mother and father. Then one day as I lay dying I was given a choice. To trade my mortality for immortality for the price of a task," A long heavy silence consumed the air as they waited for more depth. Memories trickled through the magical suppression, yet somehow she wasn't afraid. Something had made her stronger and details of her past became clearer. A foreign presence was glazing over her mind filling her with serenity. "The task was completed when I resurrected Gandalf, and I was given a new one," she closed her eyes as the maddening memories taunted her, and yet the presence within her mind stopped her from collapsing. It wasn't Meredith or Gandalf, and neither man nor dwarf had that ability. Opening her eyes she caught Legolas's gaze.

"Your mind can stand no more, enough Athanasia," Gandalf spoke shattering the air around them. Athanasia turned her eyes away from Legolas's and everyone settled down to rest. Getting up to walk she heard Gandalf ask her not to go far. The fire was put out and the stars shone down lighting her way.

"Athanasia?" Legolas whispered softly to her coming up by her side. She said nothing to acknowledge him, and instead waited for him to present his reason for entering into her mind so freely. Yet she couldn't understand why Meredith hadn't protected her from his intruding. "I just reached out to your mind, and was let in," the maiden bit her lip as she tried to understand why she had been left so open to his presence. Had Meredith finally given up on her?

"Then you know the state of my mind," she seethed.

"The mind of one carrying the weight of Middle Earth all on her own," he spoke gently to her, and against her will she felt her emotions start to open up. She had long ago put them aside in fear Sauron, and yet this Elf was able to speak to her and open her. Athanasia bit her lip to stop herself from allowing anymore out, and yet Meredith fought her. He began to take control over her body stopping her from drawing blood from her abused lips.

"I am," she let out defeated as tears drained from her eyes. Not tears from pain inflicted by Sauron, or by the evil of the world, but tears for herself. For the life she was begin forced to live, and the state of her broken mind. She hid her face in her hands as the tears cascaded down her face. Legolas let her cry and stopped himself from gathering the broken maiden in an embrace. Yet he had felt her brutal rejection of physical touch in her mind, and allowed him to stand silently by her side.

_She will come broken_

_ The ownership of another marked upon her body_

_ She is your destiny, your future_

Galadriel's farewell words echoed in his mind, and his eyes seeing clearly in the darkness watched the maiden cry silently. Her hands pressed so firmly to her face they seemed to become one. Carefully he peeled her hands off of her face to see her different colored eyes fall. He knew he shouldn't have touched her, but he didn't regret it.

"I am here, and you are no longer alone," he watched her eyes slowly come to meet him, pools of two different colors that shone in the darkness with an eerie glow.

"Why are you here?" she croaked as she tried to get her body to pull away from his grasp, but it ignored her wishes, and the warmth from his hands began to spread into her cold body. "Because you feel sorry for me? Because you…"

"Because I feel in my heart it is the right thing," he said softy. The link to her mind began to pulsate as if alive, and a wave of fear vibrated into him. Her fear resonated in him, and he could understand her. The fear of being too close, and her desperate desire to cling to someone whom would be close to her. Both desires fought against her mind in a raging war to claim her, and she was left in the middle of the cross fire.

"Why? Why are you in my head?!" she cried out jerking away and collapsing on the ground holding her head as tears fell from her eyes in endless streams. Legolas could not break the connection they had, as something else had sustained the line. Briefly he saw flashes of her memories, and it tightened the resolve in his chest to take care of her. Even as broken as she was he could see that there was still a desire within her for companionship. He sat on his knees in front of her and against all his wisdom gathered her in his arms. Her body became limp as fear etched onto her hidden face. She waited for pain, and all the madness that came with Sauron touching her. Yet even in the cold darkness nothing came. No fires burned her, and only gentle warmth filled her. Yet she did not trust her mind, and knew this could possibly only be a trick of Sauron to lower her guard, and that this place, this moment could be a dream.

"Please don't hurt me," a low whisper bled out of her mouth into the cold night air. A hand began to stroke her messy hair, and filled her with peace.

"I will not, and I am sorry for shooting you," Legolas whispered softly. Athanasia's eyes opened wide as she knew now that this was reality. Sauron would have never apologized to her nor would he…bursting forth from the depths of her soul Meredith shook with radiance, and light spilled from him lighting up the darkness within her mind.

"Why would you do this? Why are you being so kind to me?" Athanasia pulled away as she tried to control the ragging feelings to return back to his soothing embrace.

"There is something that connects us, that intertwines our fates as one, and denying that it has linked us together is something I can not do. I felt it the moment I touched your bleeding heart," he spoke slowly looking for some kind of response from her.

Athanasia shut her eyes as she thought over what the young elf had said. Was this fates mockery? To bind her to another person? To try her heart only to be left by everyone again? The maiden had loved once and yet he had betrayed her. She had friends once and watched them turn to dust before her eyes. She found herself no longer knowing which side to take. To try again? To try to have companionship? She reeled in the endless possibilities, and yet found only one. Fate had already dictated that the link between there minds was permanent. As she could never break such a strong connection, and it seemed alive in its own strange way. Yet she could just push away, but he would know. He would feel it. The elf would just try harder, and his undying dedication that pulsated down her end of the connection would fail her attempts.

It was the brutal harsh truth, and Athanasia cursed the Gods whom had done this to her. Who had given up on there own creation and bestowed her with immortality. She vilely screamed out curses from within her mind, and after she had exhausted herself mentally, tried to accept the truth. Yet her mind did not allow her to have resolve and instead formulated a plan for protection against Legolas and his mortality. Against his ability to die and leave this world, and a fierce determination filled her to distance herself.

"That is…" Meredith forced her to bit her tongue and a wild agony coursed through her. Was she also to play the puppet of a stone?

_How long will you run? How long will you keep pushing everyone away? How long will you be alone? You foolish woman… _

Meredith's anger began to consume her in cold waves. The boy became a man in her mind, and took a hold of the reins of her still partly broken mind. Coursing brilliant power flooded into every part of her being. He began smashing the pieces of her mind into each other connecting them once more.

**You will no longer hide behind your madness. You will no longer have an excuse to run. You will stand on your feet and face this world. **

His voice became power, and all the madness that had haunted her for over a thousand years departed her as a vanishing dream. Wide eyed in disbelief the woman took in a deep breath of cold air. Filling her lungs with its soothing properties. Meredith's presence within her faded, and his warm pulse died away. He became cold against her chest, and only then did it awaken her to the reality before her. The memories that had haunted her for so long became only memories. She could call upon them to remember, but they could no longer haunt her. The plague of visions of her past was no longer considerable. Her mind was apart of now, the present, this moment now. It no longer lingered in the past.

"This is…This is…freedom?" She spoke out loud forgetting Legolas who was watching her perplexed. Athanasia felt the shock of everything crash in on her. She was free. Free to live in this moment without any interference of the distant past, and Meredith had entrusted her with it. He slept within her soul now ever apart of her being, and had become one with her mind. In all this she couldn't understand why he had done such a thing. "Why?"

Legolas reached out and grasped her hand softly. The maiden didn't pull away from him, and from deep within the connection he felt her broken mind become re-built, and the madness leave her being. He left her no words, leaving her to her thoughts. The desire to protect his destiny, and future roared within him a deep conviction.

The ever immortal sun hazily awoke from its sleep, illuminating the sky with a bloody glow.

* * *

And cut it off with a omen...I hope everyone has enjoyed this chapter and I hope Legolas is true to his character. I never saw him as one of too many words. For any curious any romance will not be for awhile, as even though her mind is now whole she is still broken as a person.

**Reviewer's Corner!** *Grabs my cup of tea*

**_Bubbles8231999 :_******Her memories vary, and more shall be revealed now that she can process things like a normal person.

_**Deatherella:**_Thank you so much! I hope this new chapter did not disappoint you!


	7. Chapter VII: The King of Rohan

**Chapter VII: The King of Rohan**

_The sun is rising_  
_The screams have gone_

_-Within Temptation The Howling_

* * *

The flags of Rohan blew carelessly in the wind above, and Athanasia's eyes caught a hold of a prancing white horse before it disappeared further into the sky. This land was tainted with sadness and distress, and it resonated in her being. The land cried out for serenity, but it was absent; only allowing the silent howling of madness to fill the rocky land. The maiden pulled her hood over her face, and tightened it about her body to hide herself. Aragon felt her unrest and patted her leg. They approached the opened gates void of any guards, and followed Gandalf up to the stables. Athanasia looked at the dirty people starring up at them with vivid unrest in there eyes, and shifted in her seat turning her eyes away.

"Do not speak, and do not remove your hood Athanasia," Gandalf spoke breaking the all-consuming silence that griped this desolate kingdom. He approached the stables, and dismounted Shadowfax allowing a wide eyed boy to lead the horse inside. The fellowship did the same, and Aragon carefully helped Athanasia down. The maiden understood Gandalf's reasons, and felt it on her marked face.

Sauron's presence was imbedded in this place, and his mark burned her as a reminder of whom she belonged to. It was a searing scorching pain, but nothing she couldn't handle. She followed closely by Gimli and Legolas as they swept through the streets to the castle.

"This place breathes evil," Gimli huffed as they began to ascend the stairs up to the Golden Hall of Meduseld. One which from afar Athanasia had once watched built, but had never gained the courage to approach. The castle in itself was made to be aesthetically pleasing to see with its numerous arches and elegantly carved stones. Even the guarded wooden doors were rich in delicate carvings long worn by the sun.

"You are not allowed to enter so well armed," an older guardsmen said as his eyes searched them.

"Very well," Gandalf replied handing in his sword, but keeping his staff with him. Athanasia handed over her sword and kept her eyes on the ground. The others quickly handed in there weapons in attempt to divert the soldiers eyes.

"You will need to remove your hood as well young man," the older guardsmen said.

"Ah you wouldn't want to," Gandalf said adding in a bit of magic.

"Your right…" the guard nodded and opened the doors for them to enter in. Athanasia looked up to see that Gandalf had dressed himself in an old grey cloak that fully hid his white robes, and smirked at his cleverness.

The Golden Hall of Meduseld was filled with elegance, and did not disappoint her. The great pillars that held the roof were decorated in intricate and complicated wooden patterns with no two pillars being identical. There were beautiful tapestries that hung from the walls, and ceiling consuming the room with vivid color; each one containing a pure white horse in the middle. Yet in all the colorful brilliance of the hall it was quickly drained out from the King sitting on his throne with his dark advisor. His skin was parched of any life, and he looked more undead than human.

Athanasia tensed as the doors slammed behind them, and stiffly followed behind the fellowship that had fanned out beside Gandalf.

"The courtesy of your hall is somewhat lessened of late, Théoden King," Gandalf spoke out firmly as he walked up to the old king. The dark advisor spoke from the shadows of the throne to the king, and the two mumbled a brief conversation before the advisor addressed Gandalf.

"Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear," Grima Wormtounge said as Athanasia recognized his slithery voice. Her stomach turned, and she bit down on her lip as she continued to hide behind Gandalf, but Grima only come to meet Gandalf. His eyes searched Gandalf's before falling behind him, and landing on Athanasia hidden by her cloak. Quicker than an eye could follow Grima snatched off her hood tearing it off of her with contempt.

"You bring me a whore Gandalf! One who belongs to me," He chuckled as he licked his lips.

"Be silent, and keep your forked tongue between your teeth," Gandalf seethed. "I have no passed through fire and death to bandy words with a witless worm," as he held his staff up to Grima's nose.

"His…his staff! You fools I told you to take the wizards staff!" Grima cried as he quickly backed away from Gandalf. The soldiers loyal to Grima began to run at them, and Athanasia watched as the Legolas and Aragon took them on with bare fists. A soldier ran over to her and forgetting a moment the pain scorching her face she punched him hard in the nose breaking it soundly. While he clutched his nose gushing blood she landed a hard kick to his groin that sent him crashing to the ground. She then turned to see Grima whom had been watching from a pillar.

All thought, sound, and motion faded from her view as there eyes met. She no longer heard Gandalf's words to Théoden nor the skirmish of fists between her fellowship and the soldiers. It was just Grima, and the anger that ravished down her soul. She clutched her fist as all the abuses he had inflicted upon her, and his sick appetite for the countless times he raped her flooded her mind. She landed a blow to his face, and quickly knocked him to the ground, beating him with her fists.

"Mercy! Mercy!" Grima cried but Athanasia's anger only grew as she pounded his face into the cold stone floor.

"I cried that so many times my voice fell hoarse," she whispered venomously as fear began to etch into his eyes. She raised her fist to punch him again only for it to be caught. She turned her head; anger spilling from her eyes as she caught the piercing gaze of Legolas. He gently pulled her off Grima and wrapped his arms around her.

"That is enough Athanasia," he whispered quietly in her ear. "Let the King take care of him."

"He…he…" she tried to remember words, but her anger still held her fast. Yet as the embrace held she felt her anger falling away. Legolas let her go, and she turned to catch the eyes of the blind King.

"Hahahahaha! You have no power here Gandalf the Grey!" Théoden laughed and at that moment Gandalf shed his robes, and a powerful white radiant light spilled from him.

"I will draw you Saruman as poison is drawn from a wound," he commanded as Théoden was thrown back into his chair.

"If I go, Théoden dies," Saruman said as a thin smiled appeared on Théoden's face. Magic unseen to everyone's eyes but Athanasia's erupted from his staff a white color throwing back Théoden again and lessening the hold Saruman had on him.

"You did not kill me and you will not kill him," he spoke as a wider stream of magic coursed out encircling the old King. The maiden watched quietly as the presence of Saruman and Saruon began to fade from the old king, and the burning pain on her face began to ease.

"Rohan is mine!" Saruman cried as he tried to hold on to Théoden.

"Be gone!" Gandalf cried as his magic swirled and cascaded down upon Théoden violently throwing Saruman out of his mind. The King began to shed the years encrusted on him by Saruman's magic, and a young blonde haired woman ran up to him. Athanasia felt Gandalf's strength wean and looked down at her hands soaked in blood, and then turned her eyes to Grima who had been watching her.

"The whore of Saruon will find no welcome here," Grima laughed quietly but Gimli pressed his bulky foot onto Grima quieting his words.

Athanasia opened her mouth to speak but as she did the world began to spin around her. Darkness began to consume her, and she knew this feeling running through her. It had been apart of her for so long it was woven into her soul. Fear. Fires lit up the darkness, and Sauron's anger roared around her in crimson fires. Out of the darkness, fires, and pain he came descending on her like a dark shadow.

Athanasia awoke starring up at a stone ceiling above her. Her mind was foggy from pain, and she soothed herself in quiet mumbles that it was all over for now. She was left in agony for another few hours, and began to count the stones above her. An old weathered hand rested on her head.

"Gandalf," her hoarse voice whispered.

"May I inspect your wounds?" He asked quietly. She nodded slightly, and he pulled off the blanket concealing her. She turned her head away as he gazed at her naked form. No man could ever gain pleasure from looking upon her as Saruon had made sure during her years of being his prisoner. Gandalf placed his hand on her stomach, and began to mumble healing spells over her. The burning, pulsing pain faded, and her mind became clear once more.

"Thank you," she whispered as she kept her head turned. Gandalf replaced the blanket over her, and caught a tear that had escaped her eye. She refused to turn to look at him, and instead focused on the wall. He had been one of the few to see her body, and the only one not to vomit upon looking at it.

"Your clothes have been mended, and washed," Gandalf said to her as he got up. Athanasia nodded waiting for him to leave. Once he had shut the door, and walked away the tears descended down her face. She waited until her tears had died before dressing herself. Athanasia then sat allowing herself to brush through her hair like a normal girl would. A gleam of silver caught her eye, and she saw Aeglos had been returned to her. The maiden strapped the sword to her side, and pushed the door open. Turning to her side she saw Legolas leaning against the wall. He said nothing to her, and instead lead her down the hall to the Golden Hall of Meduseld which had been transformed into a partly a dinning room.

"Lady Athanasia, I didn't get a chance to welcome you," King Théoden spoke from his throne. A blonde haired maiden sat beside him looking over her.

"I am grateful to have had the chance of your hospitality, I am sorry for my fainting," Athanasia spoke bowing her head slightly.

"All is well, come now you must be hungry," He gestured to the tables filled with food and mead. She nodded bowing her head again before joining Gimli at the table. Though as he chattered and joked she couldn't find it in herself to eat, and so she departed early venturing out of the Hall. She wandered the streets until finding herself upon the gate she had first entered in. Soldiers now guarded the entrance, and to her eyes the place seemed livelier.

The maiden walked outside the gate, and gazed into the distance. A horse caught her eyes as she searched for a rider. She saw a child slide off the horse, and forgetting everything sprinted over. To her luck he had landed softly, and she quickly gathered him in her arms. A soft cry directed her gaze up to see a little girl on top of the horse crying.

"Do not worry little one, no harm shall come to you," Athanasia smiled. The little girl nodded, but kept crying.

"My mommy, and daddy," she cried.

"You will one day see them again," The maiden spoke softly as the child sobbed. A few soldiers who had seen her run after the kids quickly rode out to meet her. They took the boy from her arms, and the little girl off the horse.

"Could you take the horse to the stables?" One of them asked her, and she nodded. They rode off leaving her with the horse. The maiden took the horse by the reins leading it to Rohan.

"Where have you come from? What happened?" She asked the horse out loud not expecting an answer.

"A village four days ride from here. It was attacked by orcs," the horse replied to her. She stopped walking and stared at the horse. It looked at her before pulling her along to Rohan.

"How are you talking to me?!" She asked believing it might be possible that she had gone mad once again.

"How am I to know? I am a horse, not a God," he sassed her whipping his long tail onto her head.

"But…I have never been able to talk to animals before, and in fact these last few weeks are the most I have spoken in many years,"

"Maybe you always have been able to, but maybe it was suppressed along with many things," The horse said as they neared the gate. "You have lived a long time, and perhaps you have just forgotten many things,"

"How do you know such things?"

"I can sense it about you, now can we stop these questions? I am rather hungry," The horse replied as Athanasia led him up to the stables. She was completely dumbfounded, and continued to be as she heard the other horses speak around her.

"Athanasia," A powerful voice called to her, and she walked over to Shadowfax whom had spoken to her, and opened his stable door. "Ah, finally you can hear me once more, come little one there is much to discuss,"

* * *

_Sorry for not updating for awhile! School has had me in a tight grip, and so I have been unable to write. Also yes Athanasia can talk to animals, and why shall be explained latter on, but no she isn't a 'God'...don't worry this isn't a mary sue. _

_No reviewers corner this time! Sorry D:_


	8. Chapter VIII: The Kindness of Eowyn

_ When the faithful desert me, _  
_When the fears that disturb me_

**Phildel Dare**

* * *

"Do you understand now?" Shadowfax said as Athanasia brushed his coat.

"Possibly, it is a lot for me to take in,"she whispered softly.

"Think on it child," Shadowfax sighed squishing his tail. Athanasia continued to brush him through the restful silence, and began to think upon the Lord of Horses words.

"I am surprised he allows you near him," A gentle voice said and the maiden turned to see a young woman. Long wavy blonde hair spilled elegantly down her back reaching far down to her knees. She wore a fitted forest green dress adorned in gold accents and a pure gold belt.

"My lady," Athanasia said bowing her head.

"You may call me Eowyn if you wish, and your name?"

"Athanasia my lady," she said raising her head.

"A lovely name, and how is it that Shadowfax allows you near him?" Eowyn smiled warmly slowly approaching her.

"I do not know," Athanasia replied smiling awkwardly as a stiff silence began to shift between them. She tried to think of something to say, but the silence stretched on.

"Would you like to accompany me?" Eowyn smiled as Athanasia's eye twitched.

"Of course," the maiden replied as Eowyn turned to guide her away from the stables. Her nervous habit got the better of her and the maiden began to chew on her lower lip. It had been many ages since she had dealt with what use to be her own kind, and a human princess at that. Athanasia pulled back her thoughts as she entered into the castle, and climbed up a flight of stairs to what appeared to be bedrooms.

"I'm sure you tire of the company of men, and you can use my room to refresh yourself." Eowyn smiled opening the double doors to her room.

"That is very kind of you my lady," Athanasia smiled softly gazing at the elegant sitting room with a large vanity and table.

"I also may have a dress for you to wear while you are here, I would not have a young woman wearing men's clothes!" The princess chuckled softly. Athanasia quietly cursed the Gods as Eowyn opened her wardrobe. Eowyn had left her no room to disagree or decline her offer, and to her great detest would have to wear unpractical clothes. "Ah here this one shall fit you well! Shall I help you change?" She had pulled out a crimson dress with rich gold embroidery. It had long flowing sleeves with a under dress for modesty, and allowed all her scars to be hidden.

"I am grateful you would lend me a dress, but I can dress myself my lady," Athanasia replied and Eowyn nodded handing it to her.

"I can lace you up properly when you have it on," She said as she directed her to the bedroom attached to her room. "I will be waiting in here, call me over when you are ready,"

Athanasia cursed again softly as she found a spot to change. This was madness. All the laces, buttons, and layers that this dress had baffled her. She slipped it on with care after stripping her clothes off, and found it fit her moderately well. The waist was a tad bit too big, and the length an inch too long, but it was doable. She stiffly walked over to Eowyn and allowed her to lace her up. It was the first time she had ever had a so many different layers on, and would be her last.

"I have a powder that may help cover up your scar," Eowyn spoke as she dug through her vanity. "Ah here it is, now it is only made up of pure wheat and rose water, but I think it should do the trick." For once Athanasia found herself curious to what life would be like without Sauron's handprint upon her face, and did not protest to the use of the powder.

"You are very kind to me my lady," the maiden whispered as Eowyn applied the power with a soft cloth.

"You have been through a lot, and I admire your strength,"

"My lady?"

"You beat that senseless Wormtounge even though he was ranked second to the King, and gave way to a great bravery within you," She sighed.

"Bravery is doing the right thing even when those around you tell you not to, and it is taking a leap of courage to defy even Kings. My anger was what drove me no courage or bravery." Athanasia sighed as Eowyn grew silent. For a moment she let her thoughts fall back to a time long ago, and the world around her fell away into nothing.

"Daddy?" Athanasia wept as she lay dying in the forest. Crimson blood began to spill from her side into a perfect circle. Pain terrorized her as part of her gut spilled out beside her.

"I am going to free you from your wretched fate," Her father said over her as he lifted a dagger to end her. Endless tears spilled from her eyes as she watched the dagger fall into her stomach. Spasms of pain shook her body as the maiden began to scream out.

"Daddy why? Daddy…" She cried out as blood began to bubble up from her mouth.

"I'm sorry my love, I am so sorry, Daddy loves you," Her father said as he began to weep holding her. Athanasia felt life leaking out of her, and it seeped into the earth. Why? Why was this happening? She didn't understand why her father would hurt her so much. Why would he do this? The questions pounded her restlessly as her life drained away. "Goodbye my love," he said kissing her forehead and walking away.

"Daddy…." Athanasia weakly called out as her voice crippled over into a husky soundless word. Light openly welcomed her into its arms as her life began to die out. The open serenity of the light called to her, and as she reached out to grasp it. White sandy beaches stretched before her as a playful clear sea lapped on her ankles. Death greeted her with warm joy as the sun shone down through milky white clouds. No anger or pain threatened her here. It was peace, and the troubles of war, hunger, and sadness could no longer haunt her. A smile crept onto the maiden's face as she ran towards the beach laughing. Death was a beautiful thing filled with pure light. Yet as she ran to the beaches a hand grasped her foot and pulled her under the sea. Darkness trampled around her as she was casted out of Death and into the world of the living.

The maiden opened her eyes as Eowyn had asked her to. A hand mirror was placed in her hand, and for the first time in a long while she looked upon a face unmarked by Saruon. Her thick curly brown hair spilled in a somewhat orderly form past her breasts, and her ivory skin looked whole. No hand was upon her face and she was given the false idealization that she was free. Yet even in that the maiden found a simple smile form.

"Thank you," the maiden softly said and the princess nodded. Just this once in this long never ending life of hers she would allow this, and allow herself to drift into a world without constant pain. Even if it was just a false mad reality she would embrace it this once. She rose from the chair and walked with Eowyn as a woman. Not as a cursed immortal being, but as what she use to be, and make use of this one moment. To give into her one desire of being human once more.

* * *

Sorry for the long disappearance! I will now be updating every 2 weeks, and have left you with a tender moment. I have Eowyn as a princess because even though she is only the King's sister's daughter I still consider her one so just live with it ok? ; )

I am overtaken with joy that so many have faved, reviewed and followed my story! I would have never thought anyone would be interested in my dabbles in writing! So thank you!

Also on the history of make-up! Yes they did have a powder back in the medieval days, and I did a ton of research to make sure it was true to the time period that this story take place in.


	9. Chapter IX: You give me hope

_Would you leave me_  
_If I told you what I'd done?_  
_And would you leave me_  
_If I told you what I'd become?_

Florence And The Machine - No Light No Light Lyrics

* * *

"Lass?" Gimli asked peering up at her.

"Yes?" Athanasia replied smiling slightly.

"The handprint it's gone!"

"It's powder that Eowyn let me wear; do I look more human now?"

"You look like a woman," he grinned.

"Put me in a dress and I become less like a man," she laughed as she looked up to see Aragon smile at her. Yet as she looked around the hall she saw that Legolas was missing. Aragon caught her searching eyes and motioned to a hallway that led outside. The maiden departed bowing and left to find him. She didn't understand why she wanted to, or why she was drawn to him. As she opened the door to the outside pavilion she saw him sitting cleaning and fixing his arrows. Gathering courage within her she came to sit beside him and gazed out at the rolling hills of Rohan. She sat in silence as he continued to work. No words could reach her mouth and yet she wanted to speak. She wanted to be called beautiful or at the least pleasant, but perhaps it was too much to ask. The maiden sat waiting for anything, and yet silence continued to stretch on. The wind began to play with her hair, and in the distance she could hear only the faint chatter of birds.

"I want to know who keeps hurting you," he spoke shattering the silence around them, and Athanasia swallowed her tears. He hadn't noticed her face. "You cry out in your sleep, and show no part of your skin," she turned away from him and looked out to the mountains. Reality shook her illusionary world apart, and she remembered what she was. A slave, a woman bound to Saruon, and one whom couldn't be loved. Her naivety at having believed it could be different was a joke. Yet if she told him the truth he would leave her. The truth had always destroyed her and trampled on her dreams. Yet hadn't she grown too close anyways? Hadn't she made too many connections? It was time again; time to shatter her fragile heart and break the ties of this friendship. She had leaned too much, and given too much away. If she invested anymore into him or gave any more it would be too difficult to leave in the end. Again she would be forced to watch the people she love grow old, and be the one to burry them. Then time would wipe away all memory of them, and she and immortal being would watch as they only remained in her memory.

"I am bound to Saruon," she whispered softly. "He holds my soul, body, and mind within his hand, and I am slave to his desires," tears vouched for the truth, and she let him walk away. Pain swept over her heart as silent tears littered the crimson dress. She was bound to this madness, and cursed to never hold a friend for long.

**You will always be alone, and you shall always be mine. **

Saruon echoed the words within her mind and soul. She bit down on her lip as the realization of his truth beat upon her. There was nothing now, and everything would soon end. The fellowship would eventually cast her out as she was now too much of a liability. The pain of them turning on her would be too much. So she walked back to Eowyn's room and threw off the dress. She didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered. She was going to lose everyone and so she would be the one to let go this time.

"Athanasia are you alright?" Eowyn said walking in on her getting dressed. Her back was exposed and without turning around the maiden slipped on her shirt. "Your back…your…" Eowyn whispered as Athanasia met her horror struck eyes. She strapped on Aeglos, and ignored Eowyn's rolling tears.

"Goodbye princess," she bowed drawing her hood. The maiden left through a side door and headed towards the gate. She had spent too long amongst humans, and the living. It was time to go and live life empty. This was her fate, and nothing she did ever could change it. Acceptance of the truth was the only certain thing she did have now. So she said goodbye, and walked away.

**************THE CRY OF A BROKEN SOUL*********************

"I have seen her past Legolas, and she is no servant of Saruon," Gandalf said to the elf.

"Yet he inflicts pain on her? Wouldn't she do anything for it to stop?" Legolas spoke harshly as he paced.

"Saruon took her sanity from her, and yet even in that she had chosen to endure rather than give into him. Why she had chosen that over joining him is blocked off from any peering eyes, and is known only to her. It is that one memory I believe that keeps her from walking a dark road," The old wizard said as the elf stood quietly.

"Athanasia is gone! Eowyn said she left!" Gimli yelled pushing the door open. Gandalf's eyes filled with sorrow as he shook his head. A bitter silence consumed Legolas as Gimli starred him down. "What did you do?" the dwarf spoke harshly.

"I did nothing…" Legolas said quietly as it all began to make sense. He had doomed her the moment he had gotten up and left. Not saying one word to her, and leaving her to her endless sorrow. He had done nothing and listened to his mind over his heart. She had opened herself, and he had pushed her away. He wouldn't do nothing, and wouldn't let her go. No, he would give her hope, and he would…

*************THE CRY OF A BROKEN SOUL*********************

The bitter cold wind stabbed at her face as she trekked up a hill. The whole land was rolling with them, and it made any traveling difficult. Breathing in a sigh she stopped for a breather. Even in three hours she had hardly made it nine miles from Rohan. The terrain was extremely difficult without a horse, and so the maiden sat.

**You never had any friends to begin with. **

She didn't have the will to fight or agree with him, and just let him jab at her. He had been growing stronger and had opened communication within her mind. Saruon had never been able to do that before, and now she was even more alone. She had tasted friendship and the company of kindness, but now it was gone. Yet this time it was her choice that had led her away not death. This time she had pulled away in time to avoid it. It was the right thing to do, and it would save her the terrible pain that would come. She got up once more and carried on her wandering. There was no real place for her in Middle Earth and so she had learned long ago that wandering was the only thing she could do. As she looked out into the distance a green skinned figure caught her eyes. It was an orc scout, and it was dangerously close to Rohan.

"The orcs are four day ride from here…I wouldn't think to see scouts for another week at least." She spoke out loud. Then the wave of pain hit her, and the orc caught her eyes.

**You are a stupid woman, and now you will be brought to me. **

Saruon forced her to her knees, and she crippled over into seizures of anguish. Her mind was fogged over with pain, and her eyes blurred over as foam dribbled from her mouth. The orc's blurred face leaned over her as he inspected her face. The powder had been washed away with her tears, and she dammed the God's for her agony. The orc in his cruelty broke both her legs and threw her over his shoulder. Saruon then let off of the pain just enough for her to feel the pain in her legs. She couldn't escape now. Not for at least for another day. The orc grunted and carried her away towards the forest in the distance.

At nightfall the orc stopped, and threw her down on the ground knocking the wind out of her. She didn't try screaming or begging. It wouldn't work, and would only aggravate him into breaking something else. So the maiden grinded her teeth and waited. She knew the horrors in which orcs inflicted upon woman, and knew what he would do to her. It hadn't been the first time orcs had inflicted there abuse on her, and she searched for some way out. Yet in her desperation she knew there was none. Her legs were useless, and she only made easy game for him now. He made no fire, and as the darkness of night descended her eyes fought to adjust. She saw vaguely him advancing slowly to her like a lion on a lamb.

"You can fight or take it," he said as he disrobed. He tore off her shirt and clothes slowly to prolong her disgust. She placed her hands on her face as he began to molest her with his sick mind. Yet at his climax came he fell over on top of her crushing her with his weight, and warm blood sprayed all over her. His body was thrown off of hers and two arms encircled her. She was held and his hands wiped the blood from her face.

"Legolas?" Athanasia faintly croaked.

"I will never let you go again," he whispered to her as his tears fell on her nose. He was crying for her? He was sad about her? Slowly she bought a hand up to his cheek and carefully wiped away his tears.

"You came for me," she whispered.

"Not soon enough. I am sorry," he said as he held her naked body.

"You came, and that's all that matters," she said as she leaned into his chest and he held her tighter. All her resistance to accept the fact that she was meant to be in the fellowship fell away. She wouldn't be able to run from it, and he would always come after her. He would always find her and now he had seen everything. Yet he hadn't pushed her away, but held her closer. The scars on her body and all the terrible disfiguration Saruon had given her and yet he was still here. Why? Why was he risking everything for someone he hardly knew? There was no logic to it and she couldn't understand it.

"I am not going to leave you again," He spoke quietly. "I am immortal, and you will not be alone anymore."

"Legolas don't commit yourself to me, I am a broken soul, and can never give you anything," Athanasia said coming to her senses. Even if one day he came to love her what could she do? Her body was broken, ugly, and crippled. Even though she had stop aging when she was twenty nothing on her was pleasant anymore. Even her face Saruon had marked and left scared. No. She wouldn't do this to anyone, and wouldn't force them to love her. She began to think of pulling away but she was too weak.

"In time I will place all the broken pieces back together and make you whole once more," his words reached into the depths of her heart, and filled her with hope. Perhaps this time, maybe this time…just maybe she could have one person to stand with her till the end of time. Maybe this time she would get the greatest desire of her being. The desire to have someone forever, and for them to never leave her. Athanasia looked up to the hidden stars and was grateful that she had been found, and that someone had wanted to find her.

* * *

So yeah live with it. I posted another chapter because I got into a writing mood. Bah I hope yall like it. I did.

Look for a new chapter 11/16! We will be moving on from Rohan to Helm's Deep! OOO I love epic battles! Finally we get to see Athanasia kick some butt!


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